"Right," Said Fred

I had never heard this song until the day when I found a video in Brandy's facebook.
I downloaded the video, because it was private... you'll hear her friend in the background and Brandy in the foreground.
Hearing her voice, her laugh... it's a wonderful feeling.
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I uploaded it here: https://clyp.it/323olzao.
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let me know if there are any issues! Not sure how reliable the host site is.
thanks!

Second Guilty

For the sake of completeness, I'd like to pick up where I left off.  It was November 14th, 2013 when the second defendant in the case plead guilty to the murder of my friend Brandy.

"The second defendant in the case has plead guilty!
On November 14th, 2013, Ashley Barber plead guilty to her part in the murder that took Brandy's life.
This is paramount to her family and friends, there will be no trial, no presentation of horrific evidence, and no more unnecessary stress.
Justice has been served, and I would like to thank the District Attorney, Francis Schultz and his team, especially Trooper Mallory, and Judge Stevens, everyone who helped make sure everything was done by the book.
The Brandy Stevens-Rosine Memorial will continue to raise funds for an annual scholarship in Brandy's name; to ensure that she hasn't died in vain, and to keep her positive memory alive. Brandy lived a happy life, she made everyone around her laugh and feel good about themselves. It's time to remember how she lived, not how she died."

Since my last post to this blog, Brandy's mother, friend Sebastian, and I have hosted another Rockfest, featuring donated baskets in a Chinese Auction, snacks, and a host of local bands, most of which had members who went to school with Brandy.
The candlelight vigil this year had a good turnout as well. I purchased lighters through my place of work, with "In Memory of Brandy Stevens-Rosine" printed on the front. I used donations to purchase the lighters, I figured they were valuable enough. I still have 90 some lighters left... and hope to give them to people who donate at the Oktoberfest we go to yearly.

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on another note. The following has caused a stir.

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This year I was contacted by a creative firm who puts together a show that Lifetime airs. The show documents two people who become friends... their friendship... and how it turns into tragedy.
In other words, one murders the other and it is unheard of. Viewers want to know which friend is the victim and which is the killer.

I feel torn about this endeavor still, and I have from the beginning. I've felt that there should be a documentation of the events that took the life of a very good person. I am only a human, unfortunately, and I have failed at even documenting my own friendship with Brandy. I searched for hours for old emails, social media conversations, and ancient text messages.

Brandy didn't deserve to die. She didn't bother anybody. She was a sweet, kind-hearted, fun loving girl.. and the way that she was taken from us is so horrific, bloody, and gruesome that it makes me nauseous, two and a half years later, it still makes me burn.

But for a show that Lifetime calls, "I Killed My BFF," to take the story... I was hesitant.

I definitely was hesitant.
Initially I spoke with a gentleman who spoke cautiously to me. He introduced himself as executive director of the creative firm. He had sent me an email stating that his assistant had tried to contact me (which I was unaware of) and he told me who he was and what his intentions were. I emailed back, agreeing to a phone call.

I was feeling him out as much as he was feeling me out. (I imagine he deals with some interesting characters!) When he called me, he gathered as much information as he could about the case, the dynamics, about Brandy.
The weight of the world.
Being responsible for helping a creative firm describe a friend of yours who was murdered.
Without sounding cheesy. Forgettable.
It was over an hour, that initial conversation. But it ended with me having some responsibilities and him having a clearer idea of what to propose to his team. They were next going to decide if they would proceed with an episode about Brandy.

After a week or so, things started moving along for the episode. I spoke with a woman a step down from the exec. director, she asked for a phone call as well. I agreed to call her one day while I was at work, and surprisingly she and I talked for almost an hour. After she did her job, she introduced me to a woman who I would actually end up meeting in my and Brandy's hometown... they wanted an interview with myself, Brandy's mother, Brandy's grandmother, and another friend of Brandy's, Tera. I guess they decided that we were the people most willing to help, with the most information, and the clearest picture of who Brandy was. 

Is.

Was.

Is.

(I still struggle with that being verb. She still is. Right?)

More later.

Hopefully sooner than later.
Thanks.

First Plea

It was Halloween day when Jade Olmstead plead guilty to her part in the crime that took Brandy's life. Two weeks before the trial date; a trial that would include over 900 photographic pieces of evidence and a list of 29 witnesses, including Brandy's mother and grandmother.
Olmstead's plea would be answered with the dismissal of two "lesser" charges of conspiracy to commit criminal homicide and tampering with evidence, and a sentence of life in prison without the possibility of parole.
It was during this plea hearing that some of the pieces of the puzzle were glued together for me. When we went searching for Brandy in Meadville, PA, we stopped at the Barber residence, the address Brandy had been going to the day she went missing, and we spoke with Barber and Olmstead on the front lawn. Barber's forearms were solid bruises. She held them up as a defense, to show us that they were at the hospital the day Brandy had planned to come over. She openly claimed to us, the family and friends (I think there were six of us) that these bruises were from a fall down the basement stairs...
Well, before the judge gave Olmstead her sentence, the District Attorney read an entry from her diary, dated 5/18/2012. A sick and demented Olmstead used the word "beautiful" to describe the murder in this entry. She made mention of a "mistake," saying something along the lines of; "I didn't mean to hit her, but this is only our first. Next time we will not make any mistakes."
I cringe at the lack of humanity, but know that it is now time for Brandy to rest in peace.
There is only one more thing to be done, one more monster to address, and she will speak very soon.
And then so will I. Once this is all over with in the courts, I feel as though I will be able to much more openly explain this story... and also continue to let my friend's voice resonate throughout the years that she should still be living in.

Chapters

Brandy was an excellent writer. A creative writer. She cared about the people around her, and was pursuing a degree in Sociology or Social Work (I am not sure which) to put her skills in this area to good use.
Today I had an interview in Akron, about an hour from Youngstown, where we are from. As I drove away from Youngstown on I-76, Pandora played songs that I know Brandy listened to. That common link between her and I was a strong one. We would share new music we knew the other would like, and maybe go catch a concert of theirs down the road. Well, a tear formed in my eye as I was dressed so nicely, with my design portfolio in the backseat, my necklace with her ashes hanging around my neck. A rock in a Sucret's case in my dashboard that, to me, represents her last moments in life.
I watch the lines tick past beneath me as the road ahead of me begins a new chapter. I am going to graduate in December, and this interview at the end of the road today, that is something Brandy can never experience.
The thought hit me violently.
True pride in herself, in her accomplishments, actual achievement she may never exude. Brandy's ability to talk people out of horrible thought patterns was one of her best attributes, if you ask me. There were so many people she had already helped, and countless clients she would have impacted throughout her career.
I joked to her memory that I would get a teardrop tattoo with her name on it on my left cheek.
I brought her with me for her strength today. As the comfortable tear in the corner of my left eye, I felt her as I do most days, encouraging me as she so easily could when she was here.
The interviewers asked about the memorial fund at the end of the interview, as it is easy to relate my name to it. And there she was, on the table, "Hi," she said with a smile, and told me to stop shifting in my seat and focus on gaining this internship. "There's no place for anxiety here," Brandy would say.
I feel a little bit of guilt as I have no better to offer the world than she had and here I am with the opportunity to do something. I thank her for still somehow being almost as good a friend as she was before May of last year.
Brandy's case has an omnibus hearing next Thursday in Meadville. It is still set to go to trial in November. The trial is getting less and less important to me as I realize it won't settle anything in our hearts.
Well, until next time.

Status

Just to keep everyone posted, it appears that by the end of November, the two suspects will be charged and sentenced as necessary...

Candlelight Vigil Coming

I'll tell you what.
If one year has 525,600 minutes, I've spent almost 525,600 minutes missing Brandy.
(Cut to "Seasons of Love" from the Rent soundtrack.)
Carrie and I got the word out now about the candlelight vigil for Brandy at the memorial bench on May 17th, 2013, at 8pm. Sunset is supposed to be around 8:36 I think, so this way we will have time to share our stories and talk for a while before we light our candles.

We attended a candlelight vigil last year shortly after Brandy passed. It felt absolutely void. I remember taking this picture. What a horrible feeling. Her family (let alone her!) should not have to be going through this.
It feels like it's been seven thousand years since it happened.
Seven thousand years since I went out to the address her best friend gave to me, hoping like hell I'd see Brandy's car somewhere on the side of the road. Flat tire, maybe. Maybe she had walked to a gas station. Maybe her diabetes had gotten the best of her and she passed out.
7,000 years since those dirt roads sent me home, emotionally lost.
Then going door to door with signs in Meadville, "Have you seen Brandy Rosine?" Please, god, please tell me you've seen our friend. Her daughter. Cousin. Granddaugther. Niece.
If I could go back to that night I was searching for her car, I would... I would be the only one in jail right now. Feeling slightly more justified.
Investigation Discovery is planning filming for an episode covering Brandy's story. I hope that through the show they produce, at least one person will learn something. Will think twice about who he or she trusts. The trial still is seemingly far away... but no legalities matter to me at this point. It could go to trial in September, we'll see.
Poster
I do look forward to being surrounded by her friends and family next month. That's how humans survive, that's as basic as it gets.
Until next time.

The Waiting Game

On my way home from the suppression hearing today, I stopped at Brandy's Memorial Bench at YSU. It was raining and cold. I wasn't sure if I was shaking from the chilling air or the feelings that I was overcome with. Should I tell Brandy what went on today? Do I speak out loud? Do I stay silent, should I leave her a cigarette, can you smoke in heaven?

Things went as expected, the trial looks like it will take place in May. One year after the crime. To be in a courtroom in the presence of two cold blooded murderers, the two "girls" or "women" who killed someone's daughter, their granddaughter, niece, someone's (a lot of someones) best friend, someones big sister... it will never get easier.
They want to move one of them to another prison facility. Said it's not good for her, psychologically, to be there. Her well-being is being jeopardized. Well-being? Of someone who omitted someone else? Human rights should be only for humans, not barbarians.
I do trust the prosecution and the solidity of their case. The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania will find justice for Brandy's family.
I saw a special yesterday on the weekly news. It was on texting and driving. A family shared a heartbreaking story of how they lost their dad/husband due to a careless teen texting on the road. It didn't happen far from where I live, to my surprise. The man had been out for a jog when the teen looked at her phone to text, and smashed into him, causing severe damage, and ultimately, taking his life.
My condolences to the family for having lost such a life, especially in such a way.
My point to make is only against the behavior of the victim's family member who kept repeating, "It wasn't an accident, it wasn't an accident, she killed him." The teen served 22 days in jail, and after the verbal attacks of the family, she sobbed her apologies to the them and to the court. She will speak to young teens about the dangers of texting and driving.
The reporter noted that we identify with these people, we know that it could have been us who had looked down at our GPS or our phone for a brief moment, and caused an accident. But it was an accident. It was a terrible, deadly, and tragic accident, but it was not intentional.
So tell me, if this was "not an accident," does that mean more hope for the punishment of the two murderers of Brandy Rosine? Premeditation, a vicious attack, a burial, car cleaning, burning evidence, facebooking a status, "Notorious," can these actions ensure a strong punishment? I hope so.
But then again, it wouldn't undo the crime...
Until next time.