November 30th; Brandy's Birthday

Today, 21 years ago, Brandy was born.

Not much over a year ago, Brandy and I were with a friend at a local bar called the Lemon Grove. I was drinking PBR, our friend was drinking wine. There is a picture of that day, where my beer was in front of Brandy and she said she can't believe my cheap beer was in her picture. I remember talking about buying her a drink, but not doing it.
I wish I would have.
I always thought I'd have today.

Found the picture:

Well, the benefit concert is tomorrow. We planned it the day after her birthday so that we could all "celebrate" together. It's going to be a blast. We've never done anything like this before, but hopefully it will be an annual event to raise money for the scholarship that will go to a Boardman High School graduate to be determined sometime in March.

This morning, Carrie and I went shopping to prepare. We're having hot dogs, sloppy joe's, nachos and cheese, and pretzels. We have several donations also; a local bar (Tangier's) donated 4 pizzas for us, and Carrie ordered a cake for Brandy's birthday, which I think may have been donated. (Gotta check on that.) I've got to acquaint myself with Mario Kart. Brandy used to come over with her Wii and royally beat me every single time. Relentless, was she with that game. So I thought we should have a Mario Kart Tournament. The Refuge (the venue for all of this) has four flat screen tvs with game systems hooked up. Wii being one of them. So that makes this tournament a given. We HAD to do it! They have a kitchen, a grill in the back, nice bathrooms, and a half-basketball court. Pool tables. Oh, a stage area, of course, where the 12 bands will be playing. It's an all day event, by the way. I wish I had a video journalist friend, this would be even more interesting.

Until next time,

wish me luck for tomorrow.

Crime and Punishment

Today is one of the more difficult days.
I found the alleged murderers' court dockets online (papublicrecords) and while they are limited in information for me, it did stir up some feelings.
As I consider the future of someone who stole the life of such an amazing person as Brandy Rosine in modern day times, I wish terribly that we were all born 100 years ago.
As the finer times website says, "The middle ages was a time of severe punishment and harsh torture for crimes that today would seem trivial." ... "Medieval towns people had a very close understanding of how punishment happened, as they were often present during punishment. Although murderers were often executed, the majority of lesser medieval offenses were punished by shaming the criminal publicly."
I know that an eye for an eye isn't a sort of theology that best fits our world today. I trust that the American justice system will do its best in this case, yet it still baffles me... all the details... how could someone commit such a crime and yet still engage in privileges such as the pleasure of reading a good book? Of a hot shower, of the ability to look out of a window at a sunrise?
And how could anyone defend these people?
...I could never be a lawyer. Offer me all the money in the world, seventeen yachts, a baseball team, and a lifetime of happiness, and I still wouldn't stand in a court room and tell a judge not to burn these two at the stake, or any murderer of innocence, for that matter.

I wish there was some way to make Brandy's family feel better.
That's my bottom line.

Memorial Bench: Check!

http://www.wkbn.com/content/news/local/story/Memorial-Bench-Purchased-for-Murder-Victim/WAyvu3Tk7kOe0nuNHldI5A.cspx

The good news came after a benefit at a local bar called Split Level. Going into the night, we knew we needed 300 dollars to obtain the 2500 needed for the bench.
That night, the bar was  packed with friends of Brandy, friends of her friends, people who knew her well and people who didn't know her at all. I watched the place fill up and some drank, some sat quietly watching the slideshow of images of Brandy behind the bar on the TV. I was pleasantly surprised by the turnout.
Brandy's friends sang to songs she would have liked, or songs that pertain to having lost such an amazing person. Her mom had a chance to speak, during which she told everyone present, "If you ever need someone to talk to... come get my number... you can talk to me."
Later in the evening I too had a chance to go up and let everyone know that after we collected the funds raised that evening, we would have enough to purchase the memorial bench!! It brought me such great pleasure to have been able to announce that.
The next day, I deposited the 500.00 raised at Split Level (!), and purchased a $2,500 money order.
Carrie and I brought the money order to the department of development at Youngstown State University the next day and spoke with Catherine Calla about  what the plaque should say. Between Brandy's sister, aunt, and grandmother, everyone decided this would be best;

In Memory of Brandy Stevens-Rosine

"Keep Calm and Carry On"

1991-2012

The night after we gave Catherine the check for the memorial bench, I have to express the emotion that overcame me. This was a day that I had been pushing for since May, when it all hit us like a train. The bracelets, the benefits, the emails, the postage, everything. Indigogo.com, news reporters, the huffington post, the Octoberfest... everything has lead to this point. My friendship with Brandy pushed for a strong desire in me to work with her mom to a common goal of not letting Brandy be silenced by her murder. Our first goal was accomplished; the memorial bench has been paid for. I had waited patiently.

So I laid there in bed that night thinking about the weight that was still on my chest, the hole that is still in my head and the black in my heart over what happened to Brandy. These were all supposed to have been healed today. By purchasing this bench... at least I thought. Somehow I had set this unrealistic expectation of the accomplishment; to cure my sadness.

And having not acquired the miracle healing I somehow expected, I was sadly disappointed.

I told Carrie about it the next day, and she wasn't surprised. She assured me that we are far from over with this. Carrie expressed her interest in speaking out against violence in major cities around the US. She really is something to have the strength to fight through this. Really it's quite inspiring.

Now what we keep an eye out for is the dedication ceremony for the memorial bench. Weather permitting. YSU's memorial benches are manufactured within 5-7 weeks of the order. It should be done the first week of December. I thought it'd be perfect if it was done the weekend of her birthday; November 30th. She would  have been 21! The bench will sit outside of Kilcawley, where students usually meet between classes.

Our next fundraising goal is $1,500 for a scholarship fund in Brandy's name. After that, we could purchase a memorial tree on YSU's campus as well, for $1,500. 

I remember when I began trying to raise money for Brandy, I said that I wouldn't stop until I had a place to sit and cry over the loss of my friend. A place to mourn the terrible loss, and a place to sit with her friends and laugh until I can't breathe remembering times with Brandy. That time is closer than I thought!!

I can't thank everyone enough for the support. I'm always surprised by turnouts and how many "likes" a simple status update on the Brandy Rosine Memorial Facebook page gets, and even how many page views this simple blog gets.