Chapters

Brandy was an excellent writer. A creative writer. She cared about the people around her, and was pursuing a degree in Sociology or Social Work (I am not sure which) to put her skills in this area to good use.
Today I had an interview in Akron, about an hour from Youngstown, where we are from. As I drove away from Youngstown on I-76, Pandora played songs that I know Brandy listened to. That common link between her and I was a strong one. We would share new music we knew the other would like, and maybe go catch a concert of theirs down the road. Well, a tear formed in my eye as I was dressed so nicely, with my design portfolio in the backseat, my necklace with her ashes hanging around my neck. A rock in a Sucret's case in my dashboard that, to me, represents her last moments in life.
I watch the lines tick past beneath me as the road ahead of me begins a new chapter. I am going to graduate in December, and this interview at the end of the road today, that is something Brandy can never experience.
The thought hit me violently.
True pride in herself, in her accomplishments, actual achievement she may never exude. Brandy's ability to talk people out of horrible thought patterns was one of her best attributes, if you ask me. There were so many people she had already helped, and countless clients she would have impacted throughout her career.
I joked to her memory that I would get a teardrop tattoo with her name on it on my left cheek.
I brought her with me for her strength today. As the comfortable tear in the corner of my left eye, I felt her as I do most days, encouraging me as she so easily could when she was here.
The interviewers asked about the memorial fund at the end of the interview, as it is easy to relate my name to it. And there she was, on the table, "Hi," she said with a smile, and told me to stop shifting in my seat and focus on gaining this internship. "There's no place for anxiety here," Brandy would say.
I feel a little bit of guilt as I have no better to offer the world than she had and here I am with the opportunity to do something. I thank her for still somehow being almost as good a friend as she was before May of last year.
Brandy's case has an omnibus hearing next Thursday in Meadville. It is still set to go to trial in November. The trial is getting less and less important to me as I realize it won't settle anything in our hearts.
Well, until next time.